


Losing my mind

by killerbanshee



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-07 11:09:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12839913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerbanshee/pseuds/killerbanshee





	1. Allison

**Allison. She recognizes her friend's voices. The hunter seems to speak quietly, so Lydia Martin closes her eyes and snuggles a little more under her blankets which are keeping her warm on this autumn night. She falls asleep slowly, but the voice never ended no matter how much she tried to ignore her. One night Allison voice gets angry and yells at Lydia for her death. While on other nights she, begs, again, again, and cries, again and again. Scared, Lydia Martin hides under her covers, putting them over her head, and shuts her eyes tight, while covering her ears with her hands. Despite this, she can still hear the screams and the tears in her voice while small tears start to run down her face. Allison’s voice is shouting at her, louder and with harsh words as time passes by. Lydia doesn't understand why, but they're hurting her horribly.**

**Then nothing.**

**Everything is silent. Neither cries nor tears. So, slowly, Lydia stands up, leaves her reassuring room and goes out towards the woods. She is afraid, she has never liked to wander the woods alone. A thin ray of light escapes from out the streets, and she follows this reassuring light. Then, with her tiny feet, she starts following her voice.**

**_“Lydia”_ **

**_This voice is soft and sweet like a lullaby. It doesn’t scream or cry like the other day. It just there next to her._ **

**_“Lydia”_ **

**_It never ends. It only repeats her name, pulling on it until there’s nothing else she could hear only the dead hunter's voice._ **

**_“Lydia”_ **

**_And it hurts more than anything she’s ever experienced because no matter how hard Lydia tries to forget about that night the voice always leads her to the spot where Allison died._ **

**Lydia is now looking at her, without saying any word, even forgetting to blink and wondering why she let herself be lured to Oak Creek campsite again. At this moment, she only has one desire: to sleep, falling asleep without having the fear of waking up hearing her voice. She wants to forget, but how? She doesn't know yet. Lydia calls her friend lying on the ground, and the silence she receives as an answer is making her crazy.**

**Why is Allison not answering? Why is she staying on the cold floor?**

**She's shouting while taking her friend's thin shoulders between her hands. She's shouting to wake Alisson up, to make her react. But Allison is still not moving. Truth is quite obvious to her, it scares her, but she doesn't want to admit it, not yet, and she lets her heart drown itself deep into this painful truth. Lydia holds back her tears because daddy always told her that crying showed weakness, that she wasn't supposed to be weak. She hears Scott's voice, but it seems so far that it means nothing to her. At this moment, Lydia hates herself to an unimaginable point. She had never hated someone that much. Because she can't do a single thing for her when Allison died for her. She'd like her to stay with her so much, without ever leaving her. Then, she notices that she contrasts enormously with the red staining the white floor. Lydia's face closes itself to all her emotions, and she slowly puts her hands on Allison's still warm cheek, smiling slightly. Tears are running down her face until they become nothing more, her eyelids close letting out another small drop, while she would only like to stay by her side.**

**Don't leave me…**

* * *

 

**“Lydia!” Scott's voice shouts from her left.  She slams her hand against the tile floor and turns to face Scott who’s practically running down the hallway towards her with a bewildered looking Natalie Martin in tow.  “Lydia,” he says again. She can tell from his tone he's worried about her state of mind. Lydia hasn’t been herself lately and since Stiles decided to pull himself away from them Scott’s been the only person she could rely on. “What are you doing walking around at 2 in the morning?”**

**She turns to face the floor again, lips pursed. She wondered what happened to Allison body.  “Be quiet,” Lydia says. “I can’t hear her.”**

**Natalie opens her mouth but ends up sighing instead of speaking. She leans her head back and smacks a hand over her forehead to drag down her face. She looks at Scott through her splayed fingers.“Lydia, tell me what she’s saying,” Scott mutters under his breath. Lydia frowns.**

**“Does it even matter what Allison’s said? Clearly, we can’t change the past, she’s gone Scott and there is nothing we could do to bring her back,” she says.**

**“you’ve been hearing Allison? Why didn’t you tell me?”**

**“I didn’t tell anyone,” she says firmly. “I thought she was going to go away but every day she keeps appearing. And now I need to know if this will stop I just want this to stop.”**

**“Honey, you need to rest.  I can see your exhaustion from here.” Lydia turns to look at her mother and nods slowly.  Sleep might be okay.  She can always try to find her when she wakes up. Natalie and Scott's exchange looks before Scott starts to gather Lydia from the floor, and Natalie pulls out her car keys.  Now Lydia’s confused. She clears her throat before she speaks. “How did you know I was here?”**

**“Scott called me told me he heard you scream.” Her voice sounds terrible. “Honey, I'm sorry for not being here for you.”**

**“I....I just want it to end, why can’t it end?” Lydia asked.**

**“I know honey, I know.”**

**All three of them get into the car without talking.  Natalie’s driving with Scott next to her in the passenger seat. Lydia’s in the back with her eyes closed, head propped against the window.  She’s thankful that both of them ignore the tears sliding down her cheeks even though she’s sure her salty scent has filled Scott's nostrils.  She’s just the tiniest bit relieved to be out of the campsite.  It scares her to think how long she might have stayed if Scott and her mom hadn’t been with her.**

**When she gets home, her house feels too big and too empty, and even though she’s exhausted, she doesn’t want to sleep.  She aimlessly wanders from room to room, acting like a specter in her own home.  During her third mindless lap around her room, she gets an idea. Lydia retrieves her phone from the sweater she’d thrown on the bed.  The glow of the screen flickers in her eyes as she sweeps over her contact list.  What time is it?  Almost three thirty?  Stiles might be awake.**

**She waits, not even realizing she’s holding her breath until she hears his voicemail.**

**_“Hey, Stiles? This is Stiles and you missed me. Leave a message.”_ **

**Lydia tries not to be sad when he doesn't answer her phone call. It’s stupid to think that Stiles would have answered he's been distant lately and perhaps it's more because of his new coyote girlfriend other than the recent event that occurred when he was Void Stiles.  She liked to believe that even though she knows he could barely look at them square in the eye without feeling guilty. She wonders how Scott is handling everything ever since Allison and Aiden died he has no one in his corner everyone just gave up on him and left. Isaac is out traveling through Paris, while Ethan left wanting to escape the place that reminds him of his brother, then Stiles put his time and dedication on Malia, while she spent her time hallucinating the one girl he didn’t have time to grieve over. He must hate her right now for reminding him of something he wishes to forget.**

**Poor Scott he could never catch a break.**

**When she doesn’t want to think about it anymore, she changes into her pink PJs and hobbles her way downstairs. She hadn’t thought about how Scott still would be here talking to her mom about her mini-episodes. She sits on the last step remaining to scoot closer to the wall blocking her from their view. “Did you know Lydia’s been zoning out and wandering around again?”**

**“Last month,” he says, his voice drifting, “I saw her at two in the morning trying to dig up Alisson grave.”**

**She glares at Scott over her coffee cup, takes an angry swig, then swallows loudly.  “Why didn’t you tell me this been going on for months. I’m her mom I deserve to know what’s been going on with my daughter!”**

**“I don’t know,” he says. “I thought it would end soon she promised she would call if it ever happened again.”**

**“Sometimes. . . ”  she says quietly, “I’m scared for her, Lydia showing the same symptom her grandma had when she was little. I remember being scared seeing her grandmother go crazy.”**

**“She’ll be fine,” says Scott as he sits on down on the couch next to her.  “Lydia’s not crazy.”**

**“Always looking at the bright side,” she says and Scott shrugs.**

**“Someone has too,”  he says with a yawn.  “Just don’t give up on her.”**

**Lydia’s quiet as she hears them talking about her.  She feels a presence beside her and when she turns over she sees her again smiling brightly as ever with no care in the world. “How’d you get here?” She’s beginning to panic.  Allison seems confused.**

**“Lydia, why’d you leave me. You promise you would never leave,” she says, “remember?”**

**“You're not real,” Lydia echoes, looking straight at her dead best friend in bewilderment.  Allison furrows her brows and narrows her eyes.**

**“Lydia,” she says, her body sagging to the earth as if dragged down with an unseen weight, “They’re trying to separate us, I told you to be careful. ”She curls into herself and hides her face with her hands.  Lydia doesn’t understand what’s going on at all but she feels like she should say something.**

**“I won’t let them.”**

**Allison makes a strangled noise that sounds like a whine.  When she looks up at Lydia, her eyes are red and tears are already running down her cheeks.  “It’s too late,” she says.  Her voice shakes and quivers. “They’re after you.”**

* * *

 

**“Lydia, are you okay?”**

**“Where she go?” she says. “What happened to Allison?” she says urgently.**

**“Honey, you don’t sound okay. Why don’t you let us help you upstairs”**

**She’s not okay, she thinks.  Not by a long shot.**

**The room blurs in front of her and Lydia is genuinely confused and momentarily horrified.  Is she about to faint?  When her vision settles, she’s being held by her mother.  It takes her less than a second to piece together what happened.  She turns to Natalie, enraged, and rips her wrist out of her hand.**

**“Don’t you ever touch me again,” she says fiercely through clenched teeth and moves to push past her walking towards her room.  Although her mom whips her around by the same wrist she just freed.**

**“Let go,”**

**“Then stop walking away from me,” she says.**

**“What do you want to talk about, mom?”**

**“I just want to help you,” she says, “it’s just, I don’t want you to end up like your grandmother.” Lydia raises an eyebrow.  “I know losing Allison must be hard but-”**

**“Don’t,”**

**“Lydia, listen to me!” her mother says.  “I’m going to help you.  I’m going to stop this - the sleepwalking, the hallucination - you will never get hurt again.  She will never haunt you again. I promise.”**

**“I don’t care about myself, I care about my best friend.”**

**“She’s dead?” says Natalie, “She’s the reason you're hurting in the first place! You're going insane from having her trapped in your mind.”**

**“Stop it.  Please Lydia, just stop. . . stop it now before it’s too late.  You’re sinking,” Scott says,  “You’re losing your sense of direction and if you don’t realize it soon you’ll never find your way back.”**

**This conversation is making her very sad, but it’s nothing compared to the heartbreak she experiences when she looks at him.  She waits with bated breath for a long time for either of the two voices to speak again, but they only stare at her and wait.  She tries not to panic, but she wants to scream and cry.**

**“You’re right I need help.”**


	2. Chapter 2

**_One year later._ **

**Lying on an uncomfortable bed, Lydia gaze was wistfully admiring the rain crashing against the window. It was the rain which had awakened her for almost ten minutes now, while she only wanted to sleep. Sleep and never wake up. But everyone had forbidden her and the bandages she had seen on her wrists when she'd woken up proved her once again that sleeping forever was forbidden. She'd had the right though... Allison... It had been now one year that this tragedy had occurred in her now broken life.**

**And she still remembered every detail of the deadly night. Her body lying in a red puddle, his screams and his tears, her friend's pale face, his trembling hands, Scott fear of losing her. And how every day without her lead Lydia to Eichen house. The teenager knew her presences was real, but everybody persisted to tell Lydia otherwise. Lydia knew what she had heard, she hadn't made up anything, she hadn't lied! So why did nobody want to believe her? She missed Allison so much and she was fed up with all of this.**

**Sitting up weakly, she wrapped her too skinny legs with her arms and laid her head on her knees while crying. She had to find a solution and quickly! Find one before the nurses come to see her. After she got up, the banshee started to pace while biting her fingers. And the more she was trying to find a solution, the more fear was invading her. She guessed that if she didn't do something, they would send her back to the room. And her nightmare would then continue. A scream crossed her lips, and she screamed, again and again, to the point of breaking her voice. She screamed while she was violently banging her head against the wall. Once. Twice. Again. Again. She felt a trickle of blood running down her forehead but Lydia didn't care. She didn't want to go back. She just wanted everything to end. Her shouts quickly warned the nursing staff and when they came in Lydia’s bedroom, they saw blood everywhere. On the floor. On the wall. On the teenager's clothes. On her skin. The young girl struggled as much as she could when she felt the nurses and doctors make her forcefully lie on her bed, and she was still screaming when her tears mixed with her blood. Then, she felt a slight pain in her arm. A pain which made Lydia fall into unconsciousness.**

**“Lydia,” says Allison.  Her voice trembles over the banshee’s name. “You need to get out of Eichen house. They’re trying to erase me from your memory.”**

**“Lydia,” she says, again  “Let me help.  I can help.”**

**Lydia shakes her head and says, “ I just want this to end.”**

**“But what about me?”  she says as her voice trembles.  “Lydia, I haven’t been able to go on.  I need you.  You’re my best friend.” Allison can barely say the words above a whisper.**

**Lydia tries to smile but looks more like a grimace.  The pain must be getting worse. “Allison,” she says,  “I promise I won’t let them separate us, I’ll find a way to bring you back. I swear,”  Her voice sounds hoarse like every word is taking too much effort to get out of her mouth.  “But you’ve got to help me.  I don’t want it to end for us here.”**

* * *

**The smell of ammonia lingered in the air, going up through Scott’s nostrils enough to make him anguished. The sound of her screams in the halls irked his eardrums, and the way the nurses talked about her in this damn place drove him insane- with their “crazy bitch” and “stupid psycho”. But of course, he couldn’t do anything to help her when Natalie insists her daughter belonged in Eichen house.**

**“Another visit this afternoon, Mr. Mccall?” The woman at the reception desk pondered, staring at the teen with thick black hair and brown eyes. She had asked him to take off his belt and remove his wallet and phone, watching him put it all into a bin with his name on it.**

**“Yes I got a call about her,” He muttered under his breath with a worried expression on his face. “Her name is Lydia Martin. And I heard she wanted to see me.”**

**“Ah, I’d let you see your friend but- she had an episode earlier and I don’t** thin **-”**

**“Please, I just want to see her.” Scott pleaded.**

**The doctor sighed, “an hour- and you’re out of here.”**

**Scott smiled, letting himself in, only to find bandages wrapped around her head.**

**“Go away.” Scott heard a small rebuttal.**

**“Lydia..”**

**“Go away! I don’t want you here.”**

**“Lydia I just wanted to talk. Why not?” Scott sat on the opposite side of the room, just like he did every day he visited her.**

**“Because you sent me here. You didn’t believe me when I told you about Allison, you thought I was crazy.” Lydia whispered quietly.**

**Scott perked up for a second. He could tell Lydia had been crying. “Wait- I tried to help you. I never thought you belonged here but your mom was scared for your health and at that moment I was tired of seeing you vulnerable.”**

**Lydia sat up against the wall reluctantly, but slowly. Her eyes looked tired and puffy, and she looked a little thinner, especially with the more distinguished look of her cheekbones now. “I told Allison to leave. And she left.” She stopped before looking down and watched how Scott hold tighten around her hand. “I just want my life back.”**

**“Lydia- what happened this morning?” Scott was slowly getting closer to Lydia “You were doing so well.”**

**“The doctors told me I needed to stop pretending. That it was hurting everyone I loved. The stories. So they tied me down to a bed and I tried not to get angry Scott, I swear but they tried to drill a hole in my head and I started screaming then I fainted.”**

**“Did they hurt you?”**

**“No, I did this to myself I just wanted to get out but the only way out is to forget and Allison doesn’t want me to forget.” The young girl was tearing up as she remembered everything that happened.**

**“Lydia, It’s okay.” Scott signaled her to stop, knowing it was hurting as he came to embrace her in a hug, but Lydia had stopped him.**

**“Please don’t touch me.” She whispered. Lydia’ hands were covering her face. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.” Her body shifted to the point where she collapsed on her side onto the bed. “I’m losing my mind, okay? I’ve been losing it for years. So just- just go away.”**

**“Lydia, I’m here. And I’m not going to leave you.**

**"Stay with me... please... I... I'm afraid they might hurt me,” She whispered with a shaking voice while feeling herself blush again.**

**Scott frowned at the request and then slipped under the covers. The bed wasn't meant for two people so Scott held her against him wrapping an arm around her waist and his other hand went in Lydia's strawberry blonde hair. He stroked her strands patiently until Lydia fell asleep and closed her eyes too some minutes later. That night Lydia didn't end her night sitting on the window watching the moon or the weeping willow. She didn't end her night thinking about her friend or about her life before her arrival in this hospital. That night she spent the rest of the night asleep in a reassuring embrace with no nightmare to disturb her.**

* * *

**"Get up Lydia." The nurse said while shaking her slightly.**

**"Let me sleep..."**

**"Get up you lazy." The nurse smiled faintly.**

**"Five more minutes Scott. I'll get up... I promise..."**

**"Lydia you're in the hospital. Do you remember?"**

**At these words, the teenager immediately opened her eyes and saw that in front of her was only standing a blonde man. A slight wave of panic seized her when she realized she hadn’t heard Allison. What if she broke her promise? Would she never see her again? And then, what was she doing alone in her bed? Yet Lydia remembered that the day before she had begged Scott to stay with her for the day. She remembered very well his arms around her body, his caresses in her hair as well as his reassuring and sweet words. So why was she sitting on her own bed, looking at a stranger? Maybe Scott had only waited until she fell asleep to leave? It was a conceivable possibility, after all, who would want to take care of a crazy bitch like her? The only person who was kind enough to take care of the teenager was Allison. But now, who would do it in her place? No one. Lydia jumped slightly when she felt two fingers move under her chin to make her lift her head she had lowered without even realizing it. Facing Lydia, the nurse gave her a gentle smile then said that she had to hurry to get dressed and leave the bedroom if she didn't want the doctor to take away her visitation hours.**

**"Lydia... Is everything alright?" the nurse asked her with worry in his voice.**

**"I want to see Scott..."**

**"W-What?"**

**"I don't want your help, you hear me? I want Scott!"**

**"Lydia calms down, everything's alright." A nurse who came close to reassure her.**

**"No!" The strawberry blonde yelled while throwing her bowl to the ground. “I need to talk with Scott!” And she screamed, again and again, letting out her fear and her anger through her shouts while putting her hands on her ears. She could hear Allison again, as if she was near her, behind her whispering in her ear. She could even see her there in front of her pointing at her with her eternal smile on her lips. Lydia saw nothing around her except Allison, and while keeping her eyes on one of the nurses Lydia walked up to him, slowly, until she grabbed the other man's throat with trembling hands. And she clutched, hardly, strongly, while shouting to him to stop. To stop laughing, to stop laughing at her, to stop insulting her. But even if she was strongly holding his throat between her hands, Allison kept on laughing with this hateful glint in her eyes. And despite that, Lydia could feel her hands being scratched so that she would loosen her grip. She felt then two pairs of arms take her away from her victim as she was struggling like a madman to get rid of this hold. And through her tears of rage falling on the floor, she could see Allison disappear, gradually giving way to a terrified nurse who was catching his breath with difficulty, while he was led outside the room.**

**The two nurses took her to a room. It was a small bedroom with a single bed and nothing more, not even a window. It was an isolation room. Since her arrival in this hospital, Lydia has been in isolation a very few time, but each time she came in this room was painful, no matter if the isolation was long or short. Deeply in her thoughts, Lydia walked slowly to the bed with grey blankets, without hearing one of the adults telling her that she would stay here a few days in order to calm down, then lay down and didn't wait any longer to vent her anger by crying. Why did she lose control of herself and attacked him? She should have controlled herself, ignored Allison. She should have remained sitting on the chair and finished her breakfast like every morning. None of this would have happened otherwise. Lydia tightly held the blanket between her fingers while biting her lower lip until she could taste blood on her tongue, in order to silence her sobs and to not alert whoever would walk in front of the room. Once again she had hurt someone. First Allison and then her mom by being in this hospital and his lack of communication, and then Scott.**

**She was going to put everything right again, it was her promise to him. As soon as she would get out of this room she would apologize to them for her behavior against them, that even if she was relapsing Lydia should have never behaved that way. Lydia only hoped that the nurse wouldn't avoid her, that he wouldn't be that traumatized by this fit and inform her mother. To tell the truth Lydia would be devastated. She knew this episode might hurt her chances of leaving this place soon.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Scott didn’t realize he was driving until he was already halfway to where his subconscious was directing him to go. Scott briefly panicked, thinking about the Banshee locked away in Eichen house and how she’s scared for her life. He immediately pulled his motorbike over to gather his thought and let out a sigh when he knocked on the front door and waited until Natalie opened the door with a slightly exasperated smile.**

**“Oh Scott, it’s you,” she began as she opened the door further to allow him in, “I’m, guessing you want to talk about Lydia. The doctor says she still…” she paused for a moment before waving her hands animatedly, “Never mind. You already know what happened, I’m assuming?”**

**“Yes, but that’s not why I’m here, Lydia insisted that I come by and talk to you about something.”**

**Natalie’s smile slowly crept away and was replaced by a worried furrow of her brow. “She can’t leave Eichen house, Scott. Lydia isn’t okay. My daughter keeps on having these episodes that could harm her and everyone around her.”**

**“She stopped seeing Allison yesterday and the only reason she’s having these episodes is because they're harming her. Lydia doesn’t need Eichen house what she needs is her mother nothing else.”**

**The pair exchanged one last look before Natalie moved towards the living room, where Scott finally noticed that the Sheriff was currently situated. He let out a light chuckle at the memory of when he found out about Lydia’s mother finding comfort with Stiles dad and how it was very awkward for Stiles. Still, Stiles grew used to Natalie and finally accepted his father relationship with the banshee mother.**

**A commotion at the top of the stairs caught his attention and he saw Stiles come halfway down the stairs and give him one of his glares. He continued the rest of the way and grabbed the keys from the counter trying to leave the house before his friend could say anything to him. It’s crazy how the death of Allison caused a great rift between his pack (between Stiles.) He wondered how long it would take for Stiles to realizes what happened wasn’t his fault. Stiles doesn't deserve to carry the guilt of two death that occurred or feel he was the reason Lydia ended up in Eichen house. All this was never his fault Stiles just can’t seem to let it go.**

**“Scott?”**

**His eyes snapped back to focus on Lydia’s mother when he turned to look at Natalie. “Did it feel like she was telling the truth?”**

**He opened his mouth to speak, but it seemed that he was unable to properly formulate his thoughts into words. “I feel like…she needs one person to count on.”**

* * *

 

**That morning when a nurse brought Lydia her breakfast, she had refused to touch it saying that she wasn't hungry, but thinking again about all her memories and her goal to get better at all costs Lydia made an effort and ate a little more than usual. Lydia then laid her head on her knees and held her legs with her arms and stared at a stain on the white wall in front of her, waiting for time to pass. It was the only thing she could do here. Wait. Several minutes passed like that, maybe even hours, before the door of the bedroom opens and a nurse accompanied by her mother came in. She was dressed in a suit, her dark red hair was short and was framing her face beautifully. After addressing a few words to the nurse she sat down on the mattress, near Lydia.**

**"How are you feeling today?" She asked her with a frown.**

**"Better."**

**"That's great. You know why you're here, don't you?"**

**"Because I keep seeing her."**

**"Yes. You saw her again and you lashed out at one of the nurses. I've been warned right after."**

**"I'm afraid..."**

**"Tell me."**

**"I'm afraid I'm never going to leave, this hospital and that doctors start to lash out at me again. I'm afraid of getting hurt. I'm afraid to live all of this again..."**

**"But none of this will happen. You just have to forget about Allison."**

**“Mom she’s right he-” Lydia looked back again.**

**Allison had disappeared. “What the hell?” Lydia whispered**

**“Lydia… Allison’s not here anymore. You know that.”**

**At this point, Lydia couldn’t breathe- she couldn’t think- she couldn’t do anything. Her hands were still clenched into fists from when she started to punch the wall. Her cheeks were still tinted red from exasperation. Somehow, Lydia ended up on the floor, held back by her mother who held her by the chest with full arms wrapped around as she gave Lydia words of comfort. “Breath honey- I know- it’s okay, just relax. In through your nose, out through your mouth,” When Lydia calmed down from what felt like an actual heart attack, the puzzle pieces were starting to get put together.**

**“Allison passed- right Lydia? We went to the funeral. You remember?”**

**Lydia nodded. “Right.”**

**“Allison’s not with us anymore. She’s in a better place right?”**

**“Right.”**

**“It was an attack. Remember? No person hurt Allison- it was an animal, right?”**

**“Right.”**

**Right.**

**Lydia was calm now, she was breathing, she was alive.**

**"You'll be able to forget, I know you're strong. You will forget even though we can't forget everything."**

**Lydia talked for more long moments with her mother and this bonding moment was good for her even if at times she let her tears run down her cheeks. She liked her presences and when she left Lydia promised to herself that Natalie will never have to come see her locked away.**

**She was going to achieve her objective and heal. Take back a somewhat normal life, outside of these walls among other people. Among normal people. Lydia had always seen herself as someone abnormal. They had always told her that she wasn't a part of this normality they seemed to reflect. She who had always been different and to be different already was an error, a flaw that had to be eradicated. Outside Lydia hoped she would be able to live a life without having people see her as a crazy nut job.**

**The next day as dawn was just beginning to show the tip of its nose, Lydia heard the door of her bedroom slowly open and saw a little shadow sneak inside. Standing up straight she gestured her to come closer and Allison immediately went to snuggle in the banshee's arms finding again a semblance of reassurance she so desperately needed. After a long embrace, Lydia laid back on the bed keeping Allison in her arms and pulled back the blanket over their bodies.**

**Lydia knew that she might be punished if someone finds out Allison was here, but she needed her right now. She needed Allison when she wasn't feeling well. When she was about to cry Allison had to be near her. During a fit, Allison had to stay by her side.**

**Nobody else could make her feel as good as Allison presence.**

**"You came back," She said while stroking her brown hair. "you will eventually get me into trouble if you come see me each time I'm in isolation."**

**"Don't worry about that. I was careful, nobody saw me."**

**"I know. You're always careful when it comes to seeing me."**

**"When are we leaving back home?" Allison asked, her voice broken by sobs threatening to cross her lips.**

**"Soon I think... Come on don't cry. It makes me sad to see you like that you know."**

**"Sorry..."**

**Hugging her a little more against herself, Lydia whispered reassuring words in Allison’s ear while rocking her. Alison really had to calm her tears or she was going to alert the adults and it wouldn't be good for both of them. Lydia would be punished and would have to spend more time hidden in a room with the only occupation to count the number of stains on the ceiling. And Lydia really didn't want that. What she wanted was to go back in her bedroom with Allison and laugh with her again. "You should go now before we get caught." She said with a reassuring smile.**

**"Yeah.."**

**"Don't worry I'll be back soon!"**

**After the last kiss on her forehead, Allison got up and weakly walked towards the door. Her hand on the doorknob she turned to Lydia and tried to give her a smile before going out of the room without making a noise in the hallway.**

* * *

 

**_One week later_ **

**“Lydia please.”**

**“Don't want to..”**

**“It's been three days and I know you better than you think. You can't keep faking your mental health!”**

**“Don't want to Scott...”**

**“Look,” He quietly said kneeling in front of the banshee who was as always sitting on the window ledge and took her hands in his. “I won't force you and you know I never would, but please talk. If it's not to me talk to a doctor or ask them if you can see your parents more often, but don't hold your sadness back. It will destroy you...”**

**“I know.”**

**“...and I don't want that.”**

**Avoiding his gaze Lydia squeezed her hands harder and let a few teardrops fall on her cheeks. She knew it was better for her to talk to someone in here, that it would make her feel better. But she couldn't. Because she was afraid someone would say to her she didn't have any reason to be depressed. That she had to forget and move forward. She wasn't going to come back. And this fact was hurting her so much! Allison was like her sister, her best friend, her life, her everything. She took a piece of Lydia when she died, and this wound would never heal. Always bleeding, always aching. And the banshee just wanted the pain to stop. She was tired of suffering, tired of crying, tired of pretending to be fine when inside she was a mess.**

**More tears ran on her cheeks when Scott took her in his arms and rocked her tenderly. Several minutes had passed like this calmly during which Lydia had stayed against Scott who was playing with her hair. No words were exchanged between them, only kind gestures from the Alpha. Until the door of their bedroom opened.**

**Allison came into the room tired-looking and her face deeply lined and drawn. She purposely didn't say anything to Lydia in the room, not wanting to blow their cover in front of Scott, and then laid down on their bed.**

**“Allison,” she whispered**

**“Lydia are you alright?” Scott asked while still rocking Lydia in his arms.**

**“Hmm hmm.”**

**“Did you see her again?”**

**“Not really,” says Lydia.**

**“‘Not really’ as in she stopped appearing,” says Scott.“Or ‘not really’ as in you don’t want to tell me?”  he finishes with pursed lips.**

**“‘Not really’ as in she left,” she says in an obviously defeated tone.**

**“Really? That's awesome! Continue like that and soon you'll be outside of these walls!”**

**“If you say so...”**

**It was just a whisper soon followed by a quiet sob. She wanted to leave this place, yes, but she only made an effort to please Scott. She was well aware that the Alpha wanted to help her, Scott had never given up on her even when she kept on disappointing them.**

**“Lyds...”**

**“Hmm?”**

**“I miss her... I miss her too...” The Alpha cried in her arms, his body shaking again. “I want her back... but...”**

**“Scott... You know that's it's hard, but... she's gone. We need to let her go.”**

**“I know...”**

**“I'm sorry... I really am.I wish that accident never happened... He took my sister... I want her back!”**

**“Shhh, I'm here for you. Don't cry.”**

**And the young man continued to whisper reassuring words until Lydia crying finally calmed down. He then held Lydia in his arms and put the banshee on her bed before planting a kiss on her temple. Scott stayed by her side during long minutes, stroking her cheek from time to time, trying to make her laugh which succeed a few times, reassuring her when she was about to cry again. Sadly for Lydia, her friend had to leave the room, but before that Scott made her promise that she would make an effort to get better for him and her mother.**


End file.
